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I Had No Idea My Best Friend Was My Future Husband!

8/21/2019

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FROM MY POINT OF VIEW 
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I honestly don't remember the first time I saw Milan. but I do remember one of the first times I talked to him. It was my freshman year of college, and I was in the dining hall at dinner with a couple of friends. As I was going to get something to eat, I remember seeing him sitting down in the dining area, and I walked up to him and asked if I could wear his hat. It was a North Face hat, and I thought it was cute, so I asked him if I could wear it. To this day, I do not know why I walked up to a complete stranger and asked for his belongings, but I did. (Looking back, I realize that I did a lot of bold things in my unsaved days that I would never do now! lol) Smh but I did, I asked him for his hat. After that, I put it in my closet and casually wore it whenever I felt--as if it belonged to me (I even forgot that I got it from Milan). Anyway, during that time I was in a relationship, so I didn't stay ....close to many of the guy friends that I made. So, Milan was just "a guy that I knew" and saw around. However, as time went on, I had no  
idea Milan would be a guy who I would continually keep in contact with. We had the same mutual friends, so we couldn't help the fact that we kept running into each other. We also went to the same bible studies every week, hung out on the weekends at the same gatherings, and started going to a new local church plant. During that time, little did Milan know, I became saved, broke up with the guy I was dating, and rededicated my heart and desires to Jesus. I was sold out for God and whatever he wanted for me is what I wanted for myself. Two and a half years after we met, Milan moved across the street to one of my best friends' house, Orlando. From then on, I saw him almost every day. We had prayer nights, bible studies, get-togethers, etc., and so much more. So, as our friendship evolved from strangers, to acquaintances, to good friends, to bros in Christ, to "my number 1 shootah" lol, it became normal to see each other. We began to hang out, call each other for advice, pray together, and I genuinely saw Milan as a best friend and really looked up to him as a leader and a true man of Christ. During those first three years of college, Milan and I saw each other go through so many different relationships and transitions that shaped us both into the people we are today. However, I don't think either of us were aware that we would be together until the start of Summer of 2013--three years after we met. 

Milan and I went on a missions trip to Dominican Republic where WEIRD things began to happen. To prepare for the missions trip, the Lord put it on both of our hearts to have prayer nights specifically designated for our missions trip and our missions team. And, in July of 2014, when we officially arrived at the missions team, we were spiritually in tune. I would wake up from my sleep and feel led to pray for him. I also found myself praying for the same things that he was praying for, and it was things that no one else would feel or think. I had a talk with him about it, and at that time I thought, wow we have the same gift! (little did I know it was an introduction to what God was doing between us). I mean our spirits were just in tune the ENTIRE trip! It was something that I never felt before. When we got back, we both eventually saw, felt, and knew what the Lord was doing. We talked to our pastor and leaders, and they gave us the "go" to pursue a friendship that would eventually lead to a God-fearing relationship. Since then, I grew tremendously in my walk with Christ and my relationship with him as well as with other people around me. I am still in shock that the Lord had my future husband in my life for the past four years, and I only knew that past year or so. Funny thing is, I was single for two years before Milan and I began dating and actively pursuing Christ while growing more as a single woman. When I finally became the most content in my singleness, that's when the Lord began to show me Milan! Now, I can't thank God enough for the privilege to call Milan my husband and the father of my beautiful girls. I love everything about him
--his smile, hilarious impersonations of people, silliness, seriousness, joy in God, and most importantly, his love and fear of the LORD! In short, I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for the many more years to come! :-)
FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW
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, but you, but youFunny story how we came about:
After a crazy freshman year, I was walking to the cafe area of our school with one of my best friends, Stephan Brown. I became a Christian a year before, September 29, 2009, and all we used to talk about is being married to our future wives! He would throw on beats, and I would rap about marriage. We went to go eat and just make fun of each other as usual. As I was eating, I saw a girl walk passed us to go to her friends. I knew she was new because I had never seen her before. My eyes blew up, and I asked Steph, "Who Shawdie bro?? She is gorgeous bro! Clutch!" Steph challenged me to go talk to her, but I wasn't up to it because I was scared of rejection lol. Low and behold, she walked up to me and said, 
 "hey, oh my gosh, you have a North Face hat!! It goes with my North Face Jacket! You should let me wear it." I was kinda offended like "are you serious?!?!" But I thought immediately that "this could my ticket in! 😎" so I responded, "yea you can borrow it, but you ​
have to give me your number though." So we exchanged numbers lol, and I went back to Steph like I was the big man on campus. And then the wait began.I waited for some days to pass before I texted her, and sent a message saying, "hey how's it going. How is the hat treating you?" Sadly to report, I got NOOOO response! And this happened two more times, and I drew my conclusion: gorgeous woman, but  I.......DONT........LIKE.........HER because she didn't give back my hat. I saw her a lot around campus after that as well as around the same mutual friends we had. So, we eventually became friends. Around this time, I started rapping again. I had the support of my close friends, and she was one of them. I always saw her at every outreach, concert, or freestyle on campus I did. So I kind of got over the fact that my hat was gone and considered her a friend in my book. 

Fast forward to the summer of 2013, Olayinka, myself, and our crew were serving at a church plant, The Gathering, who we call our family. All of us were in there every Sunday, at every small group, and over their houses because we all loved and still love Jesus. We had constant bible studies, prayer nights, and outreaches together. We were gearing up for our missions trip together
--all of us as friends. I had went on a missions trip the previous year, so I was pretty excited to have my close knit friends going this year. Olayinka, Saba (a mutual friend), and myself, got together every Monday and Wednesday and prayed for the missions trip. We came together faithfully and prayed for about 6-8 weeks before the trip. Through this, me and Olayinka's friendship began to grow. We talked more and got to know each other more. I quickly found out that she is a great person to be around. So, the weeks went by, and we went to the Dominican Republic. 

As we were out there serving, I became strongly attracted to her
--so strong that I prayed a lot about it and asked my Pastor about it. Olayinka and myself did a lot of work together, and we made a good team. This was a great but a weird time for me. When we came back from the trip, the attraction didn't go away. So, I talked more with my leaders, and they affirmed Olayinka and her love for the Lord. Pastor Juan Carlos told me, "Bro, she is dope! She's not perfect, but her love for Jesus is undeniable bro. Go for it!" His wife said, "I agree, but just take it super slow." I then talked to Olayinka about it, and we decided to get to know each other on a deeper level. That birthed into an awesome relationship which formed into a courtship, then proposal, and finally, one of the most exciting days of my life: December 13, 2014--our wedding day. 

This has been a blessed journey to grow in the Lord walking with Olayinka. She has become my best friend, partner,  sister in Christ, wife, and now, the mother of my children. Some said we were too young or critiqued us for getting married without lots of money, but looking back, I'm glad we were obedient to God. When I heard those things, I smiled because it made me think about Jesus every time. It makes me think about how He chose me before the foundations of the universe to be His. My love for Olayinka is only a reflection of Christ's love for the Church. I love Olayinka deeply, but I love her because I love Jesus. So, I know I can't be perfectly "ready", but I'm more than ready to spend the rest of my life with her. ​​
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    Entrepreneur, writer, holistic health enthusiast. Advocate for Racial +Economic Justice. Known at home as "My Nubian Queen" and "Mommy" to a King and three Beautiful Princesses.

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.​"

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